Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Post surgery recovery

I have been quiet for a short season of time because my husband had a knee replacement and we have been doing the necessary things for recovery.
It is a very major surgery.
It has taken a lot of time for both of us as he is not able to do much for himself.
The leg is very injured. There is about a 14 inch incision or longer.
They basically take one knee out and put the other knee in.
You can imagine what they must do to get that done.
VERY major bruising. A whole lot of pain.
He is not one to complain but it is very uncomfortable.
The one good thing the doctor told me his existing bone structure is like an old oak tree.
I would imagine that is a good thing.
I am tired but taking care of myself in the process not leaving home much.
This is a short season of time and recovery is necessary.
Writing will continue very soon.
God is using this quiet to teach me some very good lessons.
Prayers are appreciated.
At times he is a very silly man.

Friday, January 23, 2015


This month has flown by rather quickly for us.
Already it is the end of the month and wow... where does time go?
I have not met my 'personal goals yet'.
Exercise and organization were on the list.
But I am slowing down and savoring quiet time and letting the
Lord teach and guide me through this guided quiet.
Silence is a great teacher.
God has shown me more than once that I must stop and listen to the quiet He is drawing me towards.
Yes there is wisdom in slowing down.
Yes there is healing in the quiet.
Yes we find truth when we reach inside ourselves and search the word of God and journal and let our words speak to the 'hearts' that wish to receive.
An online friend made this picture and it spoke to me.
How many times have we sat in the quiet by a fire and listened to the crackling logs, and felt the days pressures remove themselves as we bask in the warmth.
It is healing. Restoring. It is peaceful.
This year I choose to write more often with a deeper intent.
This year I plan on attending at least one writers conference and pursue the gift that God is moving me towards.
Someday maybe a book will form out of what is learned and experienced.
For now I choose to listen for words that bring hope and healing.
As we anticipate a new and different year.

Monday, January 12, 2015

A gift to myself

I decided on my 60th birthday I was going to give myself a diamond.
When I turned age 50 I purchased diamond ear rings. Just one pretty stone nothing fancy.
So I knew age 60 should be something similar.
Did not know what kind, or what shape, just knew it was going to be special. At first I found a band that had a nice series of diamonds in it, that were very nice. I left the first time I saw them and knew I would return to purchase the band. That night while sleeping things didn't feel right for me.
In the morning, I found this quote on someone's blog I think.
A diamond is a chunk of coal that made good under pressure.
I knew after hearing that it must be a simple single stone.
God has been chipping and chipping and molding me into something new, something different, something stronger.
I have felt emotionally like a dark cold piece of coal at times, then after a short season there was a time of renewing and energy, bringing brightness and beauty.
Healing and hope.
We have been married 41 years and I am also closing down my therapy, having spent years in counseling it is time.
I am healed. I have learned new things and new tools and I am strong, much stronger then when I began.
Coal when put into the fire becomes strong too.
The day I decided to go into the local jewelry store it wasn't clear to me what I was looking for.
When they showed me this one. A vintage stone. An antique set.
Pre-owned but era of 1920-1950 I had to have it.
I am vintage too, age 60.
Did not want to find something too flashy because of my wedding set.
It also had to be reasonable in price.
It met all criteria. And I loved the vintage look.
The band is not as old as the diamond.
Old and new, similar to what one has at a wedding... something old and something new.  Forty one years is just like that, old memories blended with new ones to come with each passing year.
A diamond is a chunk of coal... that made good under pressure.
Yes I have felt it all. The pressure to heal, the pressure to grow, the pressure to be strong.
It is good. It is mine. I am 60 years old. Married 41 years. 
Finished years of therapy. I am entitled to treat myself and I did.
I feel no guilt. Nothing other than it was something I needed to do for myself.
It was a gift to me. My husband loves it. I love it. I remain hopeful for a new and stronger new year. 

Saturday, January 10, 2015

Sharing something with you.

It should click right into her personal blog.
I am taking a break for a second to share this wonderful blog with you all.
She is courageous. She is loved.
She is on a journey non of us would want to go on yet, she is strong
and keeps her humor. If we can all teach living while in the process of dying.
We would be much better off.
You can subscribe to this blog as long as she is writing.
As we know time is not her friend.
Please if  you are a praying person, put her high on your list.
For her to be strong. For her doctors. For her husband.
Most of all for her precious little children.

Friday, January 9, 2015

More thoughts on the word of the year

When you hear the word, what does it sound like to you?
Do you feel anticipation of what is to come... or a new beginning?
The bible shows this word 204 times. That is pretty impressive.
The first one to show up on was this one:
[and endurance produces character, and character produces hope]
which is actually the middle of a scripture reference from Romans 5:4
Full verse: Romans 5:3-5 More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings knowing that suffering produces endurance and endurance produces character, and character produces hope and hope does not disappoint us, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us.
The definition of endurance is this: the ability or strength to continue or last, especially despite fatigue, stress or other adverse conditions.
My paraphrase of the verse: When we have hard and difficult times our character develops through those experiences, and then that character we received, produces a new hope within us.
I am sure we have all been there at least once in our lives.
Sometimes I have felt like my character should be done by now.
I want to say to God, no more please.
But God continues to say to us:
Romans 12:12 Rejoice in our confident hope.
Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying.
1 Corinthians 13:13 Three things will last forever - faith, hope and love - and the greatest of these is love.
Psalm 119:49 Remember your promise to me; it is my only hope.
I believe hope is powerful.
It brings awareness that there will be something better for us.
To the parent in the hospital room, waiting for an answer or breakthrough, hope is vital, critical and life giving.
It encourages the will to not give up.
Think of the prisoners of war who survived terrible things because of the hope within them.
From - "to look forward to with desire and
reasonable confidence. to believe. trust."
Hebrews 11:11 Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.
Remember the time when Jesus was born, they were waiting for a Savior to come rescue them.
This person, this Messiah would save them.
It was hope that kept them waiting and asking, 'is this the one?'
It's sad though, because what they were expecting, was not what they received.
God gave them a baby. An infant. A king who would grow up into his 'power' and authority, with teachings and lessons and then he would return back to his father.
They could not grasp or accept this infant as 'their hope.'
Only Simeon and Anna knew for sure the meaning of 'hope', having waited for years for that right moment when they could meet him.
Isn't that just like us sometimes. Our preconceived ideas of how God will provide for us often times, stop us from 'grasping and taking hold of' the hope he provides for us right in front of us.
We do not see through spiritual eyes.
Our vision is blurred... while we wait and we lose so much by not trusting.
Romans 12:12 Rejoice in hope, be patient in suffering, persevere in prayer,
Can you see how important hope is to us?

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

New word for the year 2015

Many who write choose to find a 'word' that would best describe and declare the word for the new year.
I have done this for the last few years, as I have written and shared what they were.
There is power in a word especially when it was prayed over and thought about and then even dreamed.
When I have a dream that impacts me to the core, and I wake up and know without a doubt God was speaking to me, that is when I know in my heart,  I must listen and pay attention.
Since Christmas the word that has been coming to me on a pretty regular basis... seems to be the word
God wants to fulfill and show me this year.
Somewhere in our Christmas decoration box this angel appeared this year with a verse that said:
Faith is just HOPE with wings.
It followed me throughout that day and moved into more days.
What did it mean? I understood what Faith was.
What was God telling me?
Emily Dickinson is a very wonderful writer and one of her quotes is this: "Hope is a thing with feathers that perches the soul and sings the tunes without the words and never stops at all."
Maya Angelou another famous writer one time quoted this:
"Of all the needs (there are non imaginary) a lonely child has,
the one that must be satisfied, if there is going to be hope and
a hope of wholeness, is the unshaking need for an unshakable God."
Do you see it with me?
Over and over I had the word jump out at me.
I was listening, praying, writing, and searching.
Asking God to reveal to me, the word for the year.
Psalm 12:12 says: Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life.
Jeremiah 29:11 says: "For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord, "They are plans for good and not disaster, to give you a future and hope."
Psalm 147:11 says: "No the lords delight is in those who fear him,
those who put their hope in his unfailing love."
Do you see it yet?
I had a dream. It was this angel. It was clear VERY clear.
I woke up and said in a prayer, ok Lord it is simple.
Yet so very profound.
Hebrew 10:23 says: Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise.
My new word for the year will be:
created by
FAITH is just HOPE with wings
More will continue as I process and write about this powerful word called hope, the spanish version is Esperanza.
You are never without hope, because you are never without prayer. Max Lucado

Thursday, January 1, 2015

Basket of words ~

Before I start the year with my new word, as I am praying about it
I should finish the basket of word series.
There are two words left.
I think I will merge them together as they follow each other in the same emotional process.
The first one is...
How many times have we needed to and had to give forgiveness to one another.
If you are married it is pretty often.
If you are a parent, the right thing to do is forgive
when your children mess up and wish for 'grace'
you are the example of a living 'seeing' visual Jesus to them.
When we mess up Jesus always forgives us
even if our heart isn't right.
If you are a friend what better way to seal a good friendship
than to 'forgive' if we have hurt one another.
It is in the 'knowing we hurt someone' and then asking
for their forgiveness that makes a relationship real.
The hard task is coming to a truth within ourselves.
When Jesus was on the cross.
Remember what he said while he was in deep agony,
"Father, forgive them, for they don't know what they are doing."
Even when he was a tiny baby the people didn't really understand
the purpose of why he came. It wasn't just about Christmas.
It was the cross. The whole point was leading to the Cross.
Just as those who were with him in life didn't fully understand him.
In his dying they didn't really either.
They had no idea they were killing God's son.
Just as God had Zechariah and Elizabeth, Mary and Joseph,
the angel Gabriel, Simeon and Anna, the shepherds and wise men
all play a part in the life of Jesus birth.
He also would bring the disciples and other players to be a part of his death. It had to be that way.
It was about love and forgiveness and hope.
They didn't know, because they couldn't fully know,
they were killing, God's only son.
Pilate had no clue he was playing a part or a role that was pre-ordained for him to play.
But God did.
Jesus understood while on the cross, they didn't understand it all.
Many times we do things we do not understand.
That is why His forgiveness is so powerful.
The second word is... 
When our lives are full of truth telling and calm we can be assured that our hearts are in peace.
When reading the Bible it shows this word 455 times.
It must be a very important thing for us to have according to God.
Psalm 37:37 Look at those who are honest and good, for a wonderful future awaits those who love peace.
In Mark 4:39 Jesus calmed the water by saying "Peace be still."
In John 14:27 Jesus said, "peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you.
Let not not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid."
Galatians 5:22 But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which passes all understanding,
will keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
1 Timothy That we may lead a quiet and peaceable life, godly and respectful in every way.
Do you get the point yet?
We are to create in ourselves a calm, forgiving, peaceful heart condition.
When I began to heal from my 'child hood' issues God told me
in a very gentle way I had to forgive those who hurt me.
I wrote it down... all of it, as much as I could remember.
Then I let it go and I didn't allow them to hurt me in that way again.
Hurt people, hurt people.
Sometimes God allows us to be hurt, so we can be tested and grow stronger through the process.
Sometimes it is for their growth if they choose to pay attention to the lesson.
This last year we have discovered the basket of words and the potential
of each word as it could affect our lives.
There is power within a word.
They can be both healing and useful or hurtful and wounding.
The choice becomes ours. How to give and how to receive.
As I have written each of these blog posts I have prayed it was a blessing to you.
Leaving this 'basket of words'... and moving towards a new year.
Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times in all ways. The Lord be with you all. 2 Thessalonians 3:16